Top 7 Positive Parenting Strategies You Should Try

Parenting brings with it both two sides of the coin—while it gives you pure bliss through your child’s love, it also carries a lot of pressure and difficulties as you go along this journey. It’s like a bittersweet kind of responsibility but more on the positive side, I should say.

Parenting strategies may vary per family which can be inherent in the way we are raised by our parents too. If you are someone who’s starting to have a family of your own, positive parenting is an ideal approach if you want your child to develop independently with empathetic behavior. Read more to learn top positive parenting tips and how they will work with your child.

What is Positive Parenting
    When is Positive Parenting Ideal to Use
Top 7 Positive Parenting Strategies
    Positive Parenting Tips Per Developmental Stage
        Infants (0-1 year of age)
        Preschoolers (3-5 years of age)
        Middle Childhood (9-11 years of age)
        Teenagers (15-17)
Conclusion—Does Positive Parenting Really Work?

What is Positive Parenting

Positive parenting is a child-rearing approach that focuses on nurturing good behavior, rather than punishing bad behavior. It is a parenting technique that is rooted in empathy. It emphasizes the idea that there are no “good” or  “bad” children, just different kids with different needs.

This approach is based on the renowned psychologist Arthur Adler’s philosophy that children deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

When is Positive Parenting Ideal to Use

There is a famous proverb that says, “there is no better time than now”, which is exactly the time you need to start positive parenting to your children. You can start positive parenting strategies for your kids now, whether they are still infants, toddlers, or even teenagers. Below parenting strategies will help you get things sorted out before you know it.

Top 7 Positive Parenting Strategies

  1. Be a role model.

Kids learn more from what they see rather than from what they are being told to. Always show them what to do and how to act in certain situations. Lead by example—because the younger they are, the more they are susceptible to getting more cues from you. If you want your child to possess a friendly, calm, compassionate and respectful attitude, make sure that you also are. 

A child’s misbehavior is always inevitable and it’s something parents can’t get mad about. But before you yell out the anger in you, or hit them to let them know that they are wrong, ask yourself, ‘is that how I want my child to behave in the future?’. No, you wouldn’t want to make this instance affect your child’s future. It might be too cliché but in instances like this, you need to be calm, remind yourself of the goodness of your child and act the way you want your kids to behave too.

  1. Discipline, Don’t Punish

One of the principles that positive parenting is founded on is that it encourages discipline over punishment. When you discipline your kids, you are teaching them how to behave properly without using blame, and any form of pain as a penalty for an offense or fault. This way, you are empowering your child to become controlled and orderly as they grow.

The use of punishment as a management strategy for kids has not been found to be successful. Rather, it fosters negativity and causes low self-esteem in children. A child can misbehave, violate rules, and commit mistakes which are all natural occurrences but punishment is not. Punishment is an intentional reaction that parents do to their children in response to their misbehavior which shouldn’t be happening if parents know how to control and discipline their kids.

  1. Empathize

If you’re struggling with being a parent, remember that kids too do struggle. Think of the fact that they are young, naive and still need our guidance—they sometimes get frustrated too by how things are. 

Let them feel that you understand them. Show your kids that you feel what they are going through and be compassionate in talking to them. Speak your empathy and make your support get into action.

  1. Give Quality Time for Your Kids

Positive parenting is not expensive but it costs you a great amount of your time. It may be a challenge for some parents especially if you are both working but the results are priceless if you see your child become the person you want him to be. 

One of the parenting essentials that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggest is for parents to spend 5-10 minutes of playtime for toddlers and preschoolers. This can be a great time for you to build a special bond with your child and nurture your relationship with him or her.

This does not compel you to spend a significant amount of time each day. It doesn’t matter if you spend 5-10 minutes playing with your child as long as you have your full attention on him—quality time over quantity, that’s what matters. 

  1. Set clear boundaries.

Set clear limits—if they violate, discipline instead of punishing them.

This strategy suggests that you set house rules for them to follow. This household system can help kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. In the long run, these rules will be instilled in their minds which can be helpful in other aspects of their lives.

Following the first parenting tip, you may include yourself in the house rules and exercise them yourself so that they will follow in your footsteps. 

  1. Find the root cause of the problem.

Positive parenting according to the psychologist Arthur Adler is founded on three (3) principles. One of them is that: All Behavior Is Goal-Oriented. That is, for example, if your child has tantrums, note that he is not doing it for nothing. It is his way to get something he finds difficult to convey. 

According to a parenting expert Amy McCready, whether that was a lack of skills in managing his big feelings, a desire to get your attention, or a power play to assert his free will – there’s always a reason for the behavior. Positive parenting is understanding that misbehaviors are just symptoms, not the actual problem.

  1. Emphasize communication.

Nothing remains unsolved with good and proper communication. When setting house rules, for example, you have to be clear about your intentions and goals so they would understand why they need to do this and that. Communicate as much as you can so they would do the same to you if the situation requires. 

For younger children, the thing to remember is the behavior itself is simply the symptom. Our challenge as parents is figuring out what’s really underneath that frustrating behavior, according to kidshealth.org.

Positive Parenting Tips Per Developmental Stage

It is an innate instinct for us parents that after we bring our children into this world, we nurture them, and help them grow and develop until they become self-reliant. Parenting lets us do our duties as parents until they learn full independence. Part of it is guiding them as they grow and helping them in every stage they are in. CDC will let you know some positive parenting tips at each stage of your child’s life.

Infants (0-1 year of age)

This stage is crucial since this is where a baby’s enormous physical and mental growth happens. During their first year, their way of communication is through their actions, facial expressions and crying. Positive parenting will greatly affect how a baby develops so be careful with your actions during this stage.

Get some positive parenting tips for infants and toddlers here.

Preschoolers (3-5 years of age)

Children of this age develop their motor skills greatly. They have no trouble speaking a complete, lengthy statement or even two or three words back to back.

For positive parenting tips at this stage, go to the CDC website by clicking here.

Middle Childhood (9-11 years of age)

Children gain independence and how to form their own opinions at this age. Children develop various emotions such as jealousy, love, and many more and can express them through words and gestures.

Click here for some positive parenting tips from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Teenagers (15-17)

The teenage years are the time when your children will go through a period of transition in their bodies, minds, and social interactions. Your positive parenting strategy will help them significantly during these changes.Learn some positive parenting tips for teenagers here.

Conclusion—Does Positive Parenting Really Work?

According to research, yes! Positive parenting works and helps in promoting positive and encouraging energy in your children. A nationally recognized parenting expert Amy McCready says that positive parenting holds children to realistic standards by using clear expectations and empowering children to become the resilient and capable children you hope them to be.

She further emphasizes that parents who use positive parenting techniques enjoy amazing results because they spend less time reacting and more time enjoying parenthood.